If you're looking for a way to spice things up in the bedroom, why not try temperature play? By increasing or decreasing the temperature on your skin, you can turn up the metaphorical heat in the bedroom and even make yourself more sensitive! Below, you'll find some ideas to try when you're getting started with temperature play, they might even inspire you to try other things. As long as you prioritize safety and communication, have at it!
Light It Up
Massage candles are an easy way to get started with heat. Unlike the candles that might be on your coffee table, these are made from super soft massage wax that melts at lower temperatures, which prevents you from burning yourself. For example, Hemp Seed Massage Candles melts into a luxurious oil that you can spread on your partner's skin.
If you're worried about burning yourself or your partner, don't be! You can easily see how soft these waxes are with your finger. A little push makes an indent. You can always test the wax with your fingers before using it on someone else. Finally, you can hold the container higher as your pour it onto your partner's skin. The wax will cool somewhat as it drops down.
Another option is candles made specifically for wax play. Rather than melting into an oil, the wax hardens on your skin. You can almost paint with it to create an original work of art. These candles still burn at a low enough temperature to be safe, however.
Just remember to blow out the flame before you start pouring. Otherwise, you could run into some trouble!
Essential Oils for Skin
If you're unsure about an actual flame in the bedroom, you'll find numerous massage oils that feature heating or cooling at a feature. Some even respond to your breath, upping the ante when you use them. Plus, you get the aromatic experience of your favorite scent, and there are even flavored massage oils, allowing you to enjoy the taste of them on your partner's skin!
Ice Is Nice
Ice is a safe way to bring cold into the bedroom. The ice melts as you drag it across your partner's skin, and the dripping water causes delicious (or devious) shivers. You might want to wear a glove or try a popsicle to spare your fingers. DIY popsicles work well, especially if you just want to use water.
Do More With Your Mouth
You probably think of your mouth as a warm (and inviting!) place. While that's true, it doesn't mean that you can't use it for cold temperature play during sex as well as hot. The key is to use your breath.
You can easily blow out cool air by pursing your lips. On the other hand, if you keep your mouth wide as you exhale, you'll release a warmer breeze. You can easily exhale against your hand to try it out. Plus, if you combine it with heating or cooling products such as massage oil, you may be able to make it more intense.
Hot And Cold Toys
Temperature play isn't just reserved for massage. You can often incorporate it into play with your favorite toys. Anything made from metal, glass, or ceramic holds temperature well, which means you can manipulate them to your perfect level of hot or cold. Note that other materials don't respond quite as well but still can work for temperature play!
You don't want to freeze or boil any of these toys. You'll experience a not-so-pleasant shock and could potentially hurt one of the most sensitive parts of your body. Instead, dip them into a bowl of ice water or hot water. Always test the temperature with your finger before using them near your genitals or anus. Fortunately, if your toy is too hot or cold, you can simply let it sit for a minute to return closer to room temperature.
Lube Variations
You can also experiment with temperature with various heating and cooling sensation lubes. Try them on their own or use them together. Some companies even sell pairs of couples' lubricants. One of you applies a tingling or cooling lube to your body, while the other applies a warming lube to theirs. When you make contact, the sensations converge for an intense experience! Of course, you can use a single lube if you find that using both is too intense or that you only like one.
Word to the wise: these sensations tend to increase with friction. Start by applying a little lube to your arm and giving it a rub to test how it will feel. When it's time to use them between the sheets, use only a small amount. No one wants their genitals to feel like they're ablaze! You can always add more if it's not enough to your liking. Alternatively, you can add a drop or two of the sensation lube to your regular lube to tone it down.
Of course, sensation lube is just as good for solo play. It's great if you want to experience temperature play with your toys but can't easily warm them up or cool them down. Try a dab of lube inside your favorite masturbator!
These ideas will get you started with temperature play, but you're not limited to them. Even the breeze through an open window or a fan can give someone goosebumps and erect nipples. Don't be afraid of the DIY route, even if it seems less sexy!
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Sexy Suzie is a sex education professional with over 20 years experience in the sexual wellness field. No content posted herein should be construed as medical advice.